I met this turkish guy in Leicester and our night was simply amazing… The way we connected physically, sexually, mentally and emotionally was unbelievable. I never thought one night would be so worthwhile. But… Because we are back in London and he has settled into a ‘busy’ life I feel as if we are not a priority anymore.. I just have to see. I think as we get to know each other more we’re not compatible and we don’t really suit. I’m assuming that he’s too good for me and that I don’t impress him anymore.. Ahhhh worried.
Bad situations become so much better when you speak to someone who is so cheerful and calm.. I made my situation so bad but it isn’t. Thursday night was actually funny and I shouldn’t feel bad about it. I’m happy to be around with lovely people. Thank you.
Everyone has a dark side to them. Yes someone will be two faced, a bitch, home wrecker, a murderer etc etc fucking etc but really you need to think about how to approach to these situations and just not associate yourself with it again. Learn from the mistakes you misunderstood from people and move on. People who rant about how boys are the same and are all dickheads needs to book a surgery on their brains. Those girls need to learn from their mistakes and give yourself standards and LOGIC. I think there is always someone for someone else and look at the population in the world, these girls think that they can find the one in 1/187392924249499499 god knows. In life you go through trial and errors and experiments and girls need to remember that every life is different and some are lucky but some are determined. You either be one of them.
I come back to London and realised how I’m surrounded by people who are too serious or depressed which is so unnecessary. Having a laid back mindset but also maintaining ambition is the key to life. In certain situations people overreact and multiply more drama upon themselves. They just need to calm down and think more positively in situations, thats when your mind is able to think properly. Negativity is just going to escalate overthinking which creates the unnecessary. Just chill and embrace that life is blessed. We are blessed to have a shelter, company and love.
Just chill, no drama.
I think tumblr is going to be my new source of expression. I believe that you are going to be my new bestfriend. I don’t need an individual to become an ear to my problems, feelings & expressions. Tumblr you don’t judge me unless I let tumblr judge me which I don’t. But lets forward this button to the initial point of me writing this.
I have this beloved friend who I very much adore, however from an external view I can see her negative side which is portraying a lot and I’m pretty worried. She is inflicting so much drama on her and associating herself with the wrong people.. Shes excessively loud, violent, overexaggerated and need to stop feeling superior just because of the materialistic products she owns. When she reacts to things its becoming too dramatic and I predict that karma may struct her… She needs to calm down.. But also I can tell that she’s very two-faced. Few weeks ago she was insulting and listed me and endless number of problems she had with this person but now she’s bestfriends with them. I don’t understand her. But what can I do? I hardly speak to her… We don’t have much in common and my thoughts are empty when shes around. I also don’t know her well therefore I cannot justify myself to confront her. Thats why I approached to you…
Another rant.. Owning expensive products, such as apple or designer stuff doesn’t make you a better person or makes life better. It just leads you onto not appreciate the simple things in life.. And the best things about non-technological products. I honestly think advancement in technology is causing us to be lazy and unappreciative. Although I do like my apple products, I still appreciate my notebook, pencil and being less anti-social with my iphone.. I don’t know how it is going to be like but I hope I would be able to get along with her on Tuesday.
Furthermore, this guy I met makes me realise the benefits of being humble. No drama & just makes me feel better that I’m adaptable. Only problem is that I’m trying to adapt to the white environment… Hard but i’m trying. Thank buddha that tumblr exists so no one can read this or know this. Better way to talk to something about it rather than telling someone or confronting them.
Don’t let negativity consume you, escape it and move on.
why did i start to like you? i hate it so much… you’re too nice to other girls but feel so awkward with me… wtf man. i hate that i like you because you always get comfortable with other girls in front of me and it kinda hurts me abit. i don’t know… my love life is always a sham and i hate it.
the other night, i kinda did something i regret.. but i kept on thinking about you.. which was obscure and inappropriate as i was with someone else. but it made me realize how much our nights meant to me. and i feel good that i did make those memories with you, and how much i risked to do that. although it consisted with excess making love, but it was meaningful. which i hope it was to you.. i thought about our first time and it was ‘amazing’ haha and i don’t think anyone could be compared to that.
secondly, i just had a long conversation with a good friend about you.. sorry for mentioning you but i haven’t spoken about how i felt for a long time with someone. i told that person how much i really do care about you, even if i’m not in your life. regardless of where i am i’ll still want you to be happy. i want the best, and good out of you. from what i’ve been externally seeing & hearing you’ve been kinda reckless.. and i don’t want you to be like this. i want you to be good, but have fun on the side.. have an ambition.. grow up. you was so good while we were together. you had an ambition, you went to the gym, you took driving lessons. i don’t even know what you’re doing now. i hope your friends can make you a good person.. like how i tried. just have fun short term, and work hard long term.
i have always been tempted to talk to you however my pride has been barricading me from attempting this. pride has been stuck to me recently.. its my responsibility that i took the decision to cut you out of my life, so why am i going to contact you again.. its kinda stupid. because one day i do want to speak to you again. catch up.. exchange our past lives. sometimes i want you to randomly call me or message me.. but we all know that it isn’t going to happen. oh well.. i’ll see you at melissa’s debut.
i hope you have a good year and life.. hope to see you soon.
xo
I honestly did want to text you to wish you a happy valentine’s day but I held back because I would have felt like, it was bothersome. Like it was just, nothing.
Although I do wish you’re having good days.
I’m tired, and I’ll fall asleep any minute now. Sort of a last thought floating through my head.
You move on quick, don’t you.
And here I was, thinking I actually meant something to you.
